On May 17th, 2024, Jane Schoenburn’s I Saw The TV Glow was released in select theaters. As an indie film released under studio A24, watching this movie proved to be a hassle as the only theater playing this movie was an obscure theater 45 minutes away – but it was so worth the 45-minute drive to watch this masterpiece on the big screen during its initial release.
As this article will explore spoilers, I would like to heavily recommend watching this movie before reading, and even if not reading, the movie is still worth a watch.
Overview
I Saw The TV Glow (ISTTG) follows the life of Owen as his reality begins to crack after being introduced to a supernatural show named The Pink Opaque by a girl at his school, named Maddy. Throughout the movie Owen struggles with his identity as he grows older and is presented as both autistic and trans coded.
Advertised as a horror movie, many viewers went into this movie expecting a very different movie. Unfortunately, this was reflected in the box office reviews. ISTTG is a horror movie but not a typical slasher or thriller, instead it explores the horrors of gender and queer identity. The horrific reality that many actually live.
Cinematography
ISTTG is filled with wonderful metaphorically loaded visuals. Color theory is heavily used throughout the movie as color is shown to slowly fade from the movie the further the movie goes. The first few visuals of Owen as a child are him surrounded by the transgender flag colors (pink, white, and light blue). Owen is also always portrayed as distant and never really there. Almost every shot of Owen is a single shot or he is shown to be having distance between him and whoever else is on the screen.
This separation is intentional, Owen has never really felt a part of the world he is in. He is so disconnected from his reality that he is also disconnected from people. He does not feel seen or heard, his obsession with the Pink Opaque developed because of his divide from other people.
At 1:21:05 we are presented with the visual that left an imprint on many viewers, a chalk drawing made up of scribbles with the words “There is still time”, in front of this drawing we see a figure walking away. This quote has left a lasting impression among audiences because of how thought provoking it was. This visual is a direct manifestation of what Maddy is trying to show Owen. Through my interpretation, the figure shown is a representation of Maddy and the saying is what she was trying to warn Owen about.
There was still time for Owen to change.
Nostalgia’s Relevance
Nostalgia is defined by Oxford Languages as “The sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations”. This feeling is felt through every single scene of this move. Relying heavily on nostalgia as its tone, ISTTG perfectly portrays this through its entire runtime. Watching this movie felt like watching your childhood play out while never really being a part of it.
This is exactly how it feels to be so disconnected from reality that nothing makes sense or feels real. We find comfort in the things we grew up with because sometimes they were what felt the most real to us. Facing the harsh reality of the world is the hardest part of growing up so we as humans try to hold onto what made us feel safe and seen.
Soundtrack Analysis
Indie artist Alex G composed the original score while Schoenborn composed the soundtrack. Both the soundtrack and score were amazing pieces alone but there are two standout songs I would like to personally dissect.
Anthems For A Seventeen Year-Old by Yeule was such a standout song among the soundtrack and was labeled the ISTTV song with multiple fans on Tik Tok sharing their opinions and experiences to this song. As the movie deals heavily with the topic of nostalgia the beat and rhythm of this song heavily represents this. Sounding very arcade-like with vocals overlapping and repetition of words with pixel-like sounds and vocals, this song beautifully captures the bittersweetness of growing up and facing adulthood while still feeling like a child.
Claw Machine by Sloppy Jane ft. Phoebe Bridgers is played during the final act of the movie and includes the lyrics “I think I was born wanting more”. This overbearing feeling of constantly yearning for more in life, this feeling of something missing, the idea that there is more to life than what you are experiencing. A feeling all too familiar shown so perfectly using a simple lyrical sentence.
Favorite Quotes’ Analysis
Infamously, movies are most recognizable by either quotes or iconic characters, while having both ISTTG excels at having iconic lines that evoke so much emotion within the viewer while never directly stating what message is trying to be conveyed. Immediately after watching I began analyzing these quotes on their deeper meaning and listening to what others interpreted them as, below are my interpretations of my favorite quotes.
“Time wasn’t right. It was moving too fast. And then I was 19. And then I was 20. I felt like one of those dolls asleep in the supermarket. Stuffed. And then I was 21. Like chapters skipped over on a DVD. I told myself, “This isn’t normal. This isn’t normal. This isn’t how life is supposed to feel.” (1:07:50 ISTTG 2024).
This feeling of life passing you by while never actually feeling real or a part of it is so perfectly illustrated in this quote. Especially with the last part of what is considered the norm as mental illness changes the norm for many. While knowing this feeling is not normal there is still nothing that you can do to change this feeling. You are stuck. This is what mental illness does to people.
This disconnect also known as derealization is such an interesting and familiar feeling that is so hard to put into words but is so well explained within this quote. Feeling as though you are not real is not by any means normal but when you’ve known nothing else we believe it’s normal. We ourselves have to be the ones to recognize it’s not normal.
“Sometimes The Pink Opaque feels more real than real life. You know?” (0:20:02 ISTTG 2024).
Dissociating from reality is a huge coping mechanism used by many mentally ill people and sometimes these dissociations begin to feel more real than what is actually happening around an individual. Dissociations including media are oftentimes what an actual individual would like life to look like for them, they feel seen in these dissociations. Because of this life begins to seem unreal and unideal.
“I found myself wondering, what if she was right? What if she had been telling the truth? What if I really was someone else? Someone beautiful and powerful. Someone buried alive and suffocating to death. Very far away, on the other side of the television screen. …….. But I know that’s not true. That’s just fantasy. Kid’s stuff,” (1:20:30 ISTTG 2024).
Wasted potential is oftentimes something that scares many people and often leads them to begin overthinking or obsessing over the idea “What if..?”. Owen spends the entirety of this movie running away from who he really is, constantly pushing it away but yet he still thinks heavily about who he could’ve been. For the first time he sees a glimpse of who he truly is, giving us hope that maybe he will break free to become who he truly is. But this feeling is quickly buried away. The tragedy of what he could have been if he was just brave enough to just take that step towards becoming himself yet the ideas he’s been fed since birth, take control.
“I kept waiting for her to show back up, to force me underground. ….. But she never did,” (1:19:56 ISTTG 2024).
As mentioned before, Owen spends the entirety of this movie running but, in this moment we see a different side of him. Owen is stuck and wants someone to save him. Owen needs someone to save him. This feeling of wanting and crying for help, constantly thinking about what could’ve been, is such a familiar feeling for most. No matter how hard you try you sometimes need help, you wait for someone to come along and help you but in reality, we are the only ones that can truly help ourselves. Yes, Owen needed someone – but he also needed to be able to become his own self without someone else to help. Unfortunately, this is sometimes impossible for many and ultimately led to his true self being forever buried.
Afterthoughts
As someone who struggles heavily with mental health, something about this movie really just connected with me. During its release my mental health was at an all-time low, and it was perfectly illustrated in this movie, it was one of the very first times I have ever felt seen in media. The endless feeling of hopelessness that mental illness leaves you with and the horror of being stuck with this feeling was shown so perfectly.
The final and closing act shows Owen locking himself in the bathroom after having a breakdown. In the bathroom Owen finally opens himself up, to look inside. What Owen sees is a beautiful array of colors and sounds. The scene after this shows Owen apologizing to everyone for his breakdown as everyone ignores him and his struggles to breathe, the screen turns black and credits begin to roll.
I watched through tears as people stood up to exit the theater while I couldn’t move a muscle. I saw myself so heavily in Owen, wishing his ending could be different, waiting for it to change, but it didn’t. In reality it terrified me because that’s just how some people’s stories end. Not everyone gets a happy ending, some people live their entire lives buried behind their own insecurities trying to claw outside, this is the real horror that I Saw The Tv Glow so masterfully displays.