Cute But Ugly

The burning question: Why do humans find some animals super cute when they are actually really, really ugly?

According to the all-knowing Urban Dictionary, the phrase “ugly cute” is “used to describe a homely, funny looking pet; usually a doggy or pussycat that is so ugly it’s actually cute. You tend to feel sorry for this critter.”

What a perfect way to describe these less fortunate furballs. So, here are the top ugly but cute animals in the world!

#5. Baby Opossums: A- for ears, F- because they grow up

Everyone’s favorite rodent… Not! Do not get confused here, only the opossum babies are the cute ones.

With their opposable toes and whopping fifty teeth, baby opossums have the craziest ears and the tiniest pink noses. However, add this “exotic” pet to the long list of illegal animals to own in California- AKA do not keep the opossum in the garage as a buddy.

#4. Raccoons: A+ for tails, C for their hands

Raccoons, much like hedgehogs (who are all cute and do not have an ugly bone in their little bodies!), seem like the new barely legal pet to own.

Nurseries where baby ‘coons are bottle fed are now a thing and they are pricey but so worth it. A typical raccoon baby is sold for $300. However, raccoons still aren’t legal in California.

As mentioned above, raccoons basically have hands for paws. There are numerous videos on YouTube where a raccoon scoops food out of a cat bowl and runs away with it. These videos actually exist!

#3. Pigs: A+ for cute assets, D+ for messiness

So cute yet so gross perfectly describes the pig. They seriously roll around in mud and poop for fun and to stay cool due to their lack of sweat glands. But who hasn’t secretly wanted to join 4H just to look out their kitchen window to see a happy piggie?

Whether it’s a tiny teacup pig or a full on 500-pound boar, pigs make cute noises and have little curly tails and little tiny babies and little snouts and this has to stop.

Guess what?! Pigs are the first animal on this list that’s legal to own in California!

#2. Grumpy Cat: A+ for winning at the internet

Taking the internet by storm, this very famous kitty has met many almost-as-famous-they-can-almost-taste-it people like Stan Lee and Jennifer Lopez and has 1.2 million followers on Instagram alone.

Grumpy Cat’s, actually named Tardar Sauce, face only looks grumpy due to an underbite and feline dwarfism. Said feline dwarfism causes her to be short and stubby as well, doubling her “ugly cute”. Thank you, feline dwarfism for the very grumpy face of this “cute but ugly” upstart!

#1: Baby Hippos and English Bulldogs: A+’s all across the board

This debate was to hard to decide, so both hippos and English bulldogs are in the number one spot for the cutest ugly animal around.

Hippos are freaking bad butts! They go from cute little fat babies to 3300-4000 beasts that are terrifying and amazing. Ignoring the fact that hippos kill 2900 people annually, any photo of a mommy and her babies is heartwarming, especially if they’re swimming. So, when the hippos in the Jungle Cruise ride at Disneyland are the eeriest thing to be seen all day, think of those baby hippos swimming with their moms.

Finally, English bulldogs. With their underbites, stubby little legs, and muscled bods, bulldogs are hard not to love. Even with their seemingly millions of health issues, there’s something so intriguing and just loveable about them. Plus, English Bulldogs are the Mini Cooper mascot so extra points to them.