People have come up with plenty of different nick names for me in the past year. But hey, who wouldn’t? I was a fourteen year old pregnant cheerleader—the perfect stereotype. What those same people don’t realize is that I am a straight A student with very big dreams.
Almost everyone at school knew I was pregnant, but they could only imagine what was really happening behind the scenes. People’s first assumption was that my boyfriend walked out of the picture and I would never see him again. They were wrong. A second assumption was that I had no support from my parents whatsoever. Again, they were wrong. In fact, I would honestly consider myself to be in the ideal situation.
When I first found out I was pregnant, I already knew I had to stay in school. Because going on independent study would not put me on a path for a four year college, it was not an option. My parents have always motivated my brother and I to do well in school and dropping out would not be acceptable. I had to find a way to balance being not only a full time student, but a full time mom as well. I knew it would not be easy, but in the long run it would be worth it.
Because my mom works full time, the first question I needed to answer was, “Who would watch the baby during school?” Day care is very expensive and I would not want to leave my newborn baby with a stranger.
Fortunately, my boyfriend’s mom immediately stepped up and offered to babysit. Knowing my baby would be with someone who loves her during the day was a big relief. Without both of our family’s support, doing well in school would be almost impossible. In order to give my baby the life she deserves, my boyfriend and I both understand that staying in school is most important.
Independent study through Pitman only allowed me to have twenty days off. I attended school until I was 39 weeks pregnant. My last day of school was actually the day before my baby girl was born. No one at school could understand what I was going through or how I felt. Facing my peers was very difficult. I would wobble around school every day with a giant belly in front of me. I realized that the stares and persistent questioning of other would be inevitable. But, the last thing I wanted was to be interrogated by students who thought they understood.
Having my boyfriend by my side made it much easier when people would look at me and turn to their friends to whisper. Without him, walking down the hallways on my own would have been much more difficult. Being able to come home to a very supportive family made my situation much easier to get through.
Despite the somewhat cheery tone to my story, do not be fooled; my parents were not at all happy about the situation I put them in. However, they were not going to kick me out and expect me to survive on my own.
Instead, I was grateful to receive the tremendous support from both families. It was they who motivated me and my boyfriend to do well in school and focus on our paths for the future. My baby would not be an excuse to throw away my dreams, but the motivation to commit to them that much more.
There are not many pregnant teens that have parents to love and support them the way ours have. Being a teen mom is not something I would promote; It comes with many responsibilities and choices that no teen should be forced to make. I am truly lucky to have a family who chooses to continuously support me throughout life and this new journey.
I tell my story as a teenage mom with the intention of breaking that Teen Mom image that often defines young mothers as irresponsible, disrespectful, and upset with their lives and loved ones.
But rest assured, of the many things that may define me, stereotype or statistic are certainly not one of them.